Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Replacements

As Edward O'Neil, played by the talented Jack Warden, so eloquently stated in the very hilarious football movie The Replacements, we've all  "seen monkey-shit fights at the zoo that are more organized than this." 

"This", of course, refers to the disaster that is currently the NFL replacement refs. 

Seems Legit
The regular men in stripes, who before the season were locked out by the league over union disputes involving pay and pensions, have always been the focus of fan hatred.

"WHAT THE F*&*&* was that ref? Get off your knees, you're blowing the game!" is the battle cry that has echoed throughout stadiums since the dawn of organized sport.

But now? Now those beloved officials and their "expertise" have probably never been as sorely missed.

Exhibit A: Monday night's game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Green Bay Packers.

With the 'Hawks down 12-7 and facing a 4th and 10, QB Russell Wilson heaved up a Hail Mary pass that was intercepted by Packer Safety M.D. Jennings. Once Jennings fell to the ground, Seattle Receiver Golden Tate grabbed onto the ball. 

The result was one ref signaling an interception and one signaling a touchdown. Simultaneously. 

After a ten minute debate in which both teams cleared the field, the "ruling" on the field was indeed a touchdown. 

Except, you know, it wasn't. 

But let's be fair..."real" refs have blown calls too. Remember in 1990 when Colorado came from behind to beat Missouri 33-31, all thanks to a "fifth down"? Remember in 1999 when the Thanksgiving game between the Steelers and Lions went into OT, Jerome Bettis called "tails" but ref Phil Luckett heard "heads", and the Lions "won" the coin toss and ultimately the game? Or how about when the phantom offensive pass interference call against Darrell Jackson took points off the board for Seattle in Super Bowl XL, thus giving the Lombardi trophy to the Pittsburgh Steelers?

So, refs blowing calls? Not anything new. It's just that these replacements are going beyond an occasional miss to out and out ridiculousness. Ignorance of rules, confusion over downs, not sure where the ball should actually be placed...all things that have become the norm these past few weeks. 

Perhaps my favorite outlook on this was a story done by Deadspin, who tongue-in-cheekly suggested that these scabs were intentionally sabotaging games. You know...just cause they can.

It's like the Three Stooges meets the NFL. While it's sometimes so mindblowingly terrible that it's funny, eventually the players safety and the integrity of the games is going to be sorely affected. And that moment might have already arrived.

Weigh in on the referee sitch. Should the NFL and Roger Goodell suck it up? Should the players go back on strike? Let me know!

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

You Say (Flying) To-MAY-to, I Say Jail Bird

I debated whether or not to post on the Shaun White arrest because I like to keep things classy and professional on this blog.
Oh honey, that's not a good look for you.

LOL just kidding...this is tres good shit, non?

Yes, Mr. Shaun White...everyone's favorite snowboarder and most-liked carrot top since Lucille Ball....has done a 840 and landed solidly in a crap load of trouble. The boarder got arrested in Nashville early Sunday morning for vandalism and public intoxication.


Apparently White went a little overboard on a family and friends celebration and decided to pull a fire alarm at the Vanderbilt Hotel...clearly a celebratory party foul. Further proving that the kid had a littttle too much to drink, White chose not to sign misdeamnor citations, which would have kept him out of the slammer.

AND, Shaun is no stranger to unruly behavior as it applies to fire safety. He was also cited in 2007 for destroying a fire extinguisher in a Breckenridge, CO hotel. For his part, White issued a "mea culpa", blaming his poor decisions on the fact that he merely got "carried away".

Carried away by the Po Po, ammiright? 

At least White has company. Last night, right after their win over the Denver Broncos, Atlanta Falcons running back Michael Turner was also arrested for drunk and reckless driving.

Look, I don't know exactly what's going on in the south these days...maybe they're staging a late protest over the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party going dry, or maybe it's just the heat, but seriously....let's lighten up on the boozing shall we? It will save everyone a lot of trouble and really embarrassing mug shots.


Want to weigh in on the latest pro athletes to cross paths with the law? Hit me up and let me know!

Image provided by gossipcenter

Thursday, September 13, 2012

A Brit in King Arthur's Court

Cue up Celine Dion, 'cause Andy Murray is on top of the world. 

It was just merely a month ago that the young Brit defeated Roger Federer to win the Olympic Gold Medal at his home court of Wimbledon. Now, Murray can add one more title to his resume: US Open Champ.

On Monday, after being delayed by rain deluges, Murray flew high once again....this time taking down Novak Djokovic at the legendary Arthur Ashe stadium in New York. His win also broke a 76 year old streak of Great Britain being sans a Grand Slam title winner.

Pretty impressive for a guy who seemed to be always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Straight set losses in 2008 to Roger Federer at the US Open, the 2010 Australian Open, and at 2012 Wimbledon, combined with the loss to Djokovic in 2011 at the Australian Open, had left Murray feeling a little like an outsider looking in at the grand world of a Grand Slam title.

Then came London in August of 2012.

Maybe Princess Catherine sent her fairy godmother to help a brother out. Maybe Murray's gorg girlfriend Kim Sears has been cooking him better food. All I know is, the Brit is on a roll.

Plus? I like listening to him talk. Like all freaking day.

So kudos Andy Murray. In a country that has a long history of royalty, you are more than apt to become the next king of tennis.

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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Football Fashion Police...Pt. 3

It's here guys...the 2012-13 edition of the Football Fashion Police. I'd like to say that uniform design is getting better, but let's be's getting more outrageously hideous with each passing year. And I LUV it. So without further ado, let's check out the madness shall we?


DON'T make your uniform look like something out of the periodic table. If I wanted to be in chemistry class, I wouldn't be at a football game.

Nebraska and Wisconsin...H..2...hell no.

DO make military crispness a fashion statement, like our friends from the Air Force. These clean and neat unis are spectacular.

Love these. Love the stripe, love the lightning bolt, love it all.

DON'T try to make "Flomo" happen, Gretchen Wieners! It's not fetch, ok???? Flomo, for those of you who are unaware, is this fall's trend of mixing cammo and floral, as it seems our brethren from Wyoming are trying to do. Just...ew.

The cows aren't going to fall for that disguise, and neither are we.

DO make a uniform that people like moi will lust after. Seriously, I'm LUSTING. Well done, Utah State, well done.

DON'T forget that horizontal stripes aren't necessarily a flattering fashion choice. I saw these beauties when Northwestern played against Syracuse this weekend, and they are as hideous in play as they are in theory. It's a little better in the darker shades, but not by much.

I feel your pain #12. I'd be asking "Why God, Why?" too.

DO realize that after a disastrous attempt at cool uniforms in 2011, you can really only go up. Kudos Maryland for not being nearly as hideous as last year.  I have a feeling that may be the only bright spot in your season, judging by your game against William and Mary.

Anything beats that seizure producing helmet and turtle shell pattern.

And in a category I like to call "I honestly have no idea"....

The Virginia Tech 2012-13 Helmets

I personally think the turkey tracks are cool, but the cammo helmet is ridiculously stupid. So....yeah.

Let me know what you think about this year's dos and don'ts. Anyone I missed? What about Penn State having their names on their jerseys for the first time? Hit me up!

Images provided by tucsoncitizensportsgridgazetteafasportslostlettermenhelmetgamecbssports and gamedayr.

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