Friday, July 1, 2011

Rules of Attraction

Before you read my Friday Fun post today, I feel obligated to make this disclaimer:

This is a SUPER girly post. The most girly one I've written.

I know what you're thinking...more girly than picking Ice Castles as your number one favorite sports movie??? Not possible!

I didn't think it was possible either, but apparently it is. So gentlemen....I've given you fair warning. You may want to stop reading now. It won't hurt my feelings.

Ok, it will. But I'll forgive you. Maybe.


I have a confession to make.

Since I was a little girl, I've found myself irresistably attracted to athletes. Not in a groupie "I'm going to stalk you at your hotel room" way, but more in a "wow you're attractive and talented and it makes my heart skip a beat" kind of way.

I'm pretty sure it started when I was eleven.

You see, in 1992, Shepherd College had an unbelievable basketball team. In fact, it's the only team in the school's history to win a conference championship. On that team was a kid named Ken Jennings. Jennings was a 5'6" guard who came off the bench. While most ladies were crushing on senior center Rob Levitt or all-star athletes Ben Stephens and Anthony McDonald, my heart belonged to Ken.

Why? Well, first and foremost, he was closest to my height. I felt that his lack of inches connected us on a deeper level. And he was fast. He was a short, fast reserve. I loved him as only an 11 year old girl could.

At season's end, the school had made up posters for the Rams playoff games. We happened to have a family friend with connections to the team, so I got signatures from all the players, coaches, trainers, water boys, etc. I immediately circled Ken's name and number on the poster, causing my mother to yell at me and tell me not to write anymore on it. She didn't get it. Mothers rarely do.

This hangs in my house to this day. You can never forsake your first athlete crush.

In high school, my love was once again reborn with a basketball player from an opposing high school. Brady was tall, blonde, and had a wicked 3 pointer. He didn't look so bad in basketball shorts, either.

"I appreciate his athletic ability!" I said to my friends and family at a basketball game.

"Yeah, right" was the reply.

Whatever, I'm sticking to that story. Yep. 

Then came college. And I became a sport management major. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the amount of athletes with whom I came into contact.

I had some not-so-serious crushes: basketball player Josh Yeager, who I worked up the nerve to ask for a stick of gum from in class one day; hockey player Ron Sousa, who I fell down the steps trying to impress (and who later became a friend of mine), and football player Khori Ivy, whose awesome name and cute elfish ears made my heart twitter with every catch he made on the field.

Khori Ivy....stealing my heart since 1999

And then there was Billy.

Billy was WVU's ace pitcher and a classmate of mine. We ended up in the same group for sports marketing, with my friend Jeff, two other guys whose names I can't remember, and another baseball player named Dallas.

Dallas was (and still is) a tall, dark- haired drink of water. He's also one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Ergo, the ladies LOVED him. When he wasn't at bat or in the outfield, he was winking and flirting with the ball girls.

During one particular game, a few female fans behind me at a game fell victim to his spell, uttering "one day I'll be Mrs. Dallas Crews" with annoying high-pitched giggles.

But, despite Dallas's impressive looks, it was Billy that caught my attention. For, as I was relaying the story about the girls to our marketing group, Billy looked up and said, "I want a girl to sit in the stands and say 'One day I'll be Mrs. Gertrude Biggs'".

That's right, he had me at "Gertrude".

Plus, it didn't hurt that he was a fabulous pitcher that went in the MLB draft that year.

no, thumbs up to YOU for being so darn funny
Ok, moment of truth....I will admit to a little bit of "hotel room-ish" stalking. B. Biggs happened to be the face of the WVU Baseball marketing poster my junior year, and I ran all around Morgantown trying to find a copy of it. I finally just stole one from my guy friends.
As I've gotten older, I've wisened up a bit. I've often found that with athletic prowess comes a certain essence of jerkitude. It's much better to just focus on the game rather than individual players.

But let's be real....if Joe Mauer comes calling someday, I'm moving to Minnesota.

So ladies...any particular sports crushes you want to share? Or fellas (if you've stuck with me), what's your take on the whole "girls who dig athletes" phenomenon?

Let me know!

Images provided by (top to bottom) Meg Peterson, receiveracademy, and msnsportsnet.


GiniB said...

How about the stalker level I'm-going-to-the-home-improvement-store-where-you-work-for-no-reason?

L-Bomb said...

no mention of larry bigbie? he adorned your myspace profile for awhile, i thought he'd at least get an honorable mention. and what about some former mountaineer baseketballers? while i had a teeny crush on pat belein, brooks berry, and brent solheim at different points in time, didn't you have a thing for mike gansey? and what about chris cooley... oh wait, maybe that's who every guy has a secret crush on.

Sports-O-Nista said...

Note to self....stop letting friends read blog posts.

L-Bomb said...

if you're gonna spill your secrets in a public forum, spill all of them. especially the more embarassing ones... otherwise we just feel obligated to do it for you :)

Kristin @ What She Said said...

When I was 11, I had a crush on Brian Boitano. And thus began a long and illustrious career of crushing on gay men.

Most of my athletic crushes have been Olympians, though I can't for the life of me remember any right now.

Ken Jennings is also the guy who had the longest winning streak on Jeopardy. Thought, probably not the same guy...

Sports-O-Nista said...

@Kristin....I actually met Brian Boitano at Epcot right after he won the 88 Olympics. I had a huge crush on Paul Wylie and desperately wanted him and Nancy Kerrigan to get married.

And no, it's not the same Ken Jennings.

Post a Comment


Design by Custom Blog Designs/FreeStyleMama Creations