Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Off The Grid

It's almost July fellow sports fans. This means that a) summer is half over b) the MLB All-Star break (and my favorite...the Home Run Derby) is just around the corner c) more importantly, my BIRTHDAY is just around the corner (fyi....I LOVE presents) and d) NFL training camps are getting ready to start.

Except, due to the whole lockout situation, "d" isn't happening. Honestly, I've tried to keep abreast of how negotiations are going, but it's hard. Mostly because it's kinda boring, but also because it seems to change as fast as Diddy's name (Is it D. Dirty Money now? Or Swag? I have no idea.).

What are you pointing at me for? Remembering your name is on you.

However, as I was perusing ESPN yesterday, I noticed a few articles that seemed to point toward some positive developments. For instance, Chris Mortensen reported that a four-day series of negotiations between the NFL owners and NFLPA representatives would be taking place in Minnesota this week. Analysts seem to think that the longevity of the scheduled talks indicates a strong desire between both parties to get the matter settled.

I, however, have some doubts. Does anyone else besides me have a faint suspicion this whole thing is just an elaborate excuse for these people to take an extended nationwide vacay? Minnesota will be the fifth spot to "host" negotiations, behind Chicago, Long Island, Maryland, and Massachussets. I mean, it's no trip to Hawaii....but still.

Meanwhile, Giant's QB Eli Manning (a.k.a. Peyton's little bro) was quoted as being "optimistic" that an agreement will soon be reached, allowing the NFL to have a season. The Manning brothers, often known for their outgoing personalities, have been relatively quiet during this break. It seems that (except for a short detour in filming a Directv promo), the Mannings are focusing on unofficial practices with their teammates.

I really hope the Colts' practices have looked like this:

But fear not! This lockout hasn't been just about boring off-site practices for everyone. Some pros have taken to more interesting avenues to keep themselves entertained. For instance, Arizona Cardinals player Darnell Dockett has been working on his creative writing and honing his skills for a future play-by-play job. Dockett, who recently got pulled over by police, tweeted the entire account to his followers.

P.S. He didn't get a ticket
P.P.S. Oprah would not approve.
P.P.P.S At least he wasn't doing this again.

Shakespeare was an absolute hustler, too

And let's not forget about those who are itching to give the Mannings a run for their money in the television exposure department. You might be seeing these players on a future episode of COPS:

1. Packers DT Johnny JollyJolly, who was suspended for the 2010 season stemming from an earlier charge, was arrested March 25 for allegedly possessing 600 grams of codeine syrup in his Cadillac Escalade.

2. Cowboys CB Bryan McCann
McCann was taken into a Dallas detox center after being cited for public intoxication.

3. Raiders OL Mario Henderson
Henderson was reportedly pulled over by police for having his music too loud. The Raiders' lineman was arrested for having a gun in his car and not having a concealed weapons permit.

4. Eagles OT Jason Peters
Peters was released after paying a reported $628 bond following his arrest in Shreveport, La., in late March. He was charged with violating the city's loud music policy and resisting arrest.

5.Vikings CB Chris Cook
Cook was arrested in early March for reportedly brandishing a gun during a verbal altercation with a neighbor.

6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers CB Aqib Talib
Talib surrendered to Texas police in late March on a warrant for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

7. Raiders WR Louis Murphy
Arrested in Florida for possession of Viagara without a prescription, resisting arrest without violence, and failure to obey an officer.

8. Chiefs LB Mike Vrabel
Arrested for felony theft at the Belterra Casino in Florence, Ind.

9. Titans WR Kenny Britt
Britt was charged with eluding a police officer, lying to an officer/hindering apprehension and obstructing governmental function.

10. Bronco RB Laurence Maroney
Charged with possession of marijuana.

11. Chargers LB Antwan Applewhite
Arrested for suspicion of DUI.

12. Bears RB Garrette Wolfe
Arrested for assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest with violence, retail theft and disorderly conduct.

13. Bucs CB Aqib Talib
Indicted in Dallas County, Texas, for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

14. Titans WR Kenny Britt - again!
Charged with obstructing the administration of the law, resisting arrest and tampering with or fabricating evidence after being stopped for suspicion of possession of marijuana.*

Apparently Roger Goodell has said that once the lockout is over, off-field matters will be dealt with as usual. Looks like the commish is going to have his hands full.

Maybe Peyton can put them all in a port-a-potty.

Are you missing football as much as I am? Do you have any clue what's going on with the lockout negotiations? Does the fact that Darnell Dockett showered nude online for a mere $1000 make you pray that the negotiations are settled ASAP? Hit me up and let me know!

*list provided by
Images provided by (top to bottom) images.popsugar, assets.sbnation, and thefabempire.


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