Friday, May 27, 2011

A Minor Thing....

I've been trying to hold off writing a post on minor league baseball until I had a chance to go see number one draft pick Bryce Harper play. Then I thought....screw you, Bryce Harper! I was in the minors way before you ever were!

And also, I have no other topic picked out to write about.
So, here is my memoir to my days in minor league baseball. It's a bit self-indulgent, but it's Friday ya'll! I'm allowed to be a little self-indulgent on the weekends, right? Right.

The Hagy Suns 2003 Intern Crew
Working in minor league baseball is like Charles Dickens' Tale of Two Cities....the best of times and the worst of times (sorry CD for the paraphrase). Instead of laying it out essay style, I thought I'd share with you a list of truths and lies you'll find down this career path. Ok? Ok! Here goes:

  • can work for ten days straight, 14 hour days, and not get paid a cent. Which sucks because you also tend to drink a whole lot to make it through the pain. That costs money.

  • Lie.....working in sports is glamorous. Umm, no it's not. At all. You've got to love it to survive it. It's blood, sweat, tears, and pretty much free labor. And all you wear is brightly colored t-shirts and khakis.

  •'ll meet your best friends and gain your worst enemies in your co-workers. You're with these people 24/7. And did I mention there's a lot of drinking involved? That leads to numerous inside jokes, long-lasting bonds, and a lot of screaming matches.

  •'ll get to hang out with (and maybe marry...if you're a female) athletes who will one day become superstars. First of all, the number one rule you learn when walking through the door is "Don't hang out with the players". Second, most of these fools don't make it to the big leagues. They live in other people's houses for a few years, earn less than minimum wage, and then go off to become accountants or skill instructors or salesmen at the Gap.

  • Truth....tarp pull sucks. A lot.

  • Lie...tarp pull doesn't suck. And you won't have to do it that often. You'll never see so much rain in your life. And you'll watch the weather radar like it's your second job (that you don't get paid for).

  • Truth...just because you "can't" hang out with the hottie baseball players, doesn't mean you won't find a hook-up.  Look, I'm not trying to throw minor league ball under the bus as an unprofessional work place environment, but let's be real....if you're a female intern, chances are you're going to have your pick of whoever you want with whom to do whatever you want. You've got front office staff, grounds crew, game day staff, other interns, and even a ball boy or two to pick from. Ladies' Choice....pinkie swear.

  • Lie....there are intangible benefits like free food, free clothes, and free fireworks shows! Yes, there are, but you'll be sick of wings, hot dogs, and popcorn in about two seconds. The free clothes are (as previously mentioned) brightly colored t-shirts with hideous slogans on them. And after picking up fireworks remnants until 1 o'clock in the morning every Friday night for eight weeks straight, you'll never want to see them again.

  • Truth....working in baseball is hard. Between pulling tarp ten times a day, making hundreds of cold calls to people who don't want to talk to you, trying to pull in a commission check on advertising opportunities day in and out to earn some money, putting in long hours, not getting sleep for four or five months, feeling under appreciated, and making sure fans have the best time they possibly can, you'll be exhausted and frustrated.

  • Lie...I hated my time in minor league baseball. No, I loved it. Despite my whining, I gained valuable lessons in work ethic, became passionate about the analytics of finances, and basically grew up. I know the exact weather conditions that will dry out a field the quickest. I got to see Florida Marlins reliever Clay Hensley pitch a perfect game. I got to meet (and see almost every day) legend Bob " The Steamer" Stanley and World Series champ Mike Ramsey.  I made friends that I share a strong bond with. And day in and out, I got to watch America's pastime...the beauty of the athleticism, the thrill of the rally, the excitement of the long bomb, and the joy of the last out.
 I also have a drawer full of free t-shirts with really stupid sayings on them, so really...I think we can all agree I won in this situation.

Raise your glass if you've ever worked in the minors! (not if you did this when you WERE a minor...completely different)

Words cannot express the fondness with which I remember my time in the minors, but hopefully the above did me and it justice. Shout out to all my Hagy Suns peeps that read this! And if you ever worked or do work in minor league baseball or sports in general and can relate, let me know what resonates with you!


Post a Comment


Design by Custom Blog Designs/FreeStyleMama Creations