Rugby World Cup........What the Ruck?!?

On Sunday evening I was informed of a request to write a blog post on the World Rugby Championships, which are currently happening in New Zealand. And since I'm nothing if not accommodating to those of you who actually read my blog, I decided I'd honor said request and give the topic of rugby a go.

OK, show of hands. Who actually knew that this was going on? And...that's what I thought.

I like to think of myself as a pretty astute sports fan. I can follow along with most athletic events, and could probably successfully coach some. But as I consulted my trusty guidebook (aka Google) on the sport of rugby, I'm not gonna lie: I was confused.

No, more than confused. I was as lost as that show that used to be on ABC.

In my quick perusal in-depth analytical reading, I determined the following:

• Rugby Union rules dictate you can't advance the ball forward by passing. 
• A scrum is a more violent version of a hockey face-off.
• There's such a thing as a maul and a ruck, both of which read as vaguely the same occurrence where a player who has the ball is about the become a divot in the ground. 
• A line-out is just a fancy term for "out-of-bounds".
• And, my personal favorite, there's an actual position called a "hooker".



How much would it suck to just be the player known as "second row"?


Also? There's a Rugby League as well, which has different rules. Why, I ask you, why?

 When I was told that the US's victory over Russia on September 15 was the first in a super long time (since 2003), and only the third EVER in World Cup competition, I wasn't surprised. I mean, seriously....the field isn't even measured in yards or feet. Americans don't do the metric system, folks. It's like stacking the deck against us.

Plus? Americans are a vain people. I know we play American football and hockey, but rugby is just a blood bath waiting to happen. And no one wants to go walking around like this on a day-to-day basis. No one.

What? Do I have something on my face?

So when the cup championship finally concludes, I probably won't be any more in tune with the inner workings of rugby. I won't be able to tell you all the scandals and upsets and crazy plays that have happened. I definitely won't be able to accurately measure the field. But thanks to the request of one reader, I will be able to say that I know that, while neither Vladimir Putin or Hillary Clinton showed up at the Russia/USA match, Miss Russia 2011 was there in full force with her Vodka Conglomerate Sugar Daddy.

And that's all that really matters.

Images provided by theonlinepetextbook, en.wikipedia, and sportsdigitalcontent.

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Special shout-out to Kendall at This is Not that Blog, who kindly humored me with her attempt at my quiz on Friday. The rest of you? You suck.

But I still love you.