Could college sports (and by college sports, I mean football) BE any more ridiculous right now?
You know that these schools and players and coaches and presidents and ADs are real people, but you can't help but think that games are going to start ending with a "Next time in college football...."
As in, "Next time in college football....Texas declares itself King of the World and refuses to play anyone with the color red on their jersey. Meanwhile, Vanderbilt tries to kick its denim addiction."
Let's be real, the whole expansion nonsense is out-of-control. I touched on it before, but since then it's run even more rampant. Pittsburgh and Syracuse have said au revoir to the Big East. The Big 12 threatened to fall apart, then came back together. And alleged pacts made to keep the remaining conference members together and stronger seem to be lip service at best.
In short, it's like a reality TV show gone horribly wrong....or horribly right. So what would it look like if some of the major players were cast as stars of a Real World season? Let's take a look.....
The Popular Southern Belle
The Southeastern Conference. Everyone wants to date her. She may be quick with a wink and a flirtatious smile, but this girl isn't going to get serious with just anyone. You better bring credentials as thick as the NCAA rulebook if you want to stand a chance.
The Guy's Guy
Texas. He's rough, tough, and arrogant. He's going to do what he's going to do, the rest of his friends be damned. He's the alpha, and if things don't go his way, he's probably going to be hell to live with.
The Promiscuous Gold Digger
TCU. I'm just going to put it out there....you're being a little slutty for money. You left your boyfriend Mountain West for the Big East, only to turn around and jump into bed with Richie Rich Big 12.
The Troublemaker
Television contracts. Apparently regionality and tradition aren't enough to keep folks together. TV has created more rife and drama between and among conferences. TV sucks.
No it doesn't.....just kidding TV. Never leave me, mmmkay?
The Weirdo
Colorado. Left the Big 12 to go to the PAC-12 because.....well, I'm not sure exactly. Maybe Ralphie wanted to spend more time at the beach?
The "Thinks They're Awesome But You Won't Remember Their Name At the End of the Season" roommate
The ACC. When Miami, VT, and Boston College left the Big East in the early 2000s to join the ACC, everyone thought that the Atlantic Coast Conference was going to be unstoppable. In actuality, they dropped into a state of mediocrity that fields maybe one or two decent teams a season at best. Now they've cherry picked another two Big East squads in Pittsburgh and Syracuse. Pittsburgh underachieves like it's their job, and Syracuse hasn't been good since Donovan McNabb played in the 90s. Good thing there's always basketball, right?
So guys, what do you think of this craziness that is the NCAA right now? Do you think that one day, as SB Nation predicts, that the University of Colorado will just wander off to Canada? Let me know!
Images provided by couchfiresports and mm-agency.
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Quick shout-out to my friend John Michael, who has been named the new radio play-by-play announcer for the Cleveland Cavs. Congrats John.....I'm sure the NBA will be back eventually!
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